Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Camille is not doing well. She is my second cat. I have had her and loved her since the day her semi feral mother had her on our porch. She is 15.

She is losing weight, becoming tottery and cries alot. She needs to go to the vet and I am so scared that she may be worse than I think, which is already pretty bad. It hasn't even been a year since I lost my first cat and rhis may be more than I can handle without going pretty far into depression.

Camille has always been MY cat. She would follow me around and hop on my lap at any chance, even if I was in the bathroom. When I lived in a dorm for three months, she was miserable and wouldn't even let my father pay attention to her - she ended up with all sorts of infections caused by stress. She loves me.

And I always feel like I neglect her. Iggie was my first baby, and he was such a rotten little punk that he captured my attention with his naughty behaviors - I had to work to gain his affection. Since Camille has always been so easy, I fell horrible that she does not have the same amount of attention as Iggie did. And then I got The Woo, who cries if I am not in his sight, and again Camille got pushed to the side.

Maybe people who don't have pets won't understand all of this. But these cats have been my family for so long. During the really bad depression years, they were my only source of comfort and compantionship. They have lived with me thorugh 3 states, 11 residences, and 6 jobs. Iggie and Camille were always around for me when I just needed to have another living creature next to me to not feel so alone. And I just hope Camille knows that she is as loved as she is.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Same old stuff

Hello Internet world.

Nothing really new here - still working crazy 70 hour weeks, and burning out quickly. The boss finally arranged an interview (1, singular) and has apparently decided to go ahead with that person. I hope she works out because I am not able to keep this schedule up.

Things with The Online Predator are at a standstill - one of his daughters has moved back home and so since I still live with the ex and The Predator coming here is not an option, things have stalled. I have a million thoughts about this running through my head, most of which suggest The Predator has hit his expiration date. But I haven't made a final decision yet, and will give him the chance to talk before I do.

Texas is getting "colder" at night, which makes me laugh. I have lived in West Virginia, North Carolina, Indiana, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island. So what I consider to be "cold" is very different from what the locals do. People start bundling up when the thermostat says 65. I think that is a gorgeous fall day and don't even put on a sweater. Cold schmold. It's fall - enjoy the seasonable weather people!

Sunday is my only day off, and that is really only half a day since I work Saturday nights. BUT - Today I managed to do 3 loads of laundry at home, drag the massive down comforter to the laundromat, pick up a prescription, and hit the grocery store and bank. So yay me. Now I think it is nap time.

Monday, October 13, 2008


I missed my new book club tonight. We read a book I was really looking forward to discussing, and I screwed up and thought it was tomorrow. Yeah, and I have been a staffing coordinator before, so you would think I could figure out a calendar.

Work continues - I was hired at the same time as another person, with me as the lead. She got fired on Friday and it was sort of my fault. Long story short, the other chick was on her cell texting most of the day, and worked crazy amounts of overtime for a new job. Problem was, after hours she would have her girlfriend and sisters, and probably random other people come to the office. The company I work for deals with medical stuff, so thereis a LOT of cinfidential paperwork around - names, DOB's, social security numbers. So, not smart to have people come and visit you for half an hour at a time. BUT, it was her birthday, and getting fired on your birthday has got to suck like nothing else.

So, good that she is not there wasting company time and money. Bad because there is a HUGE amount of backog to plow through, and no idea when another person will be hired. I was replacing a guy who stayed around for a week and a half to train me, but there isn't a person to train the other person, because our jobs are sort of different, so this should be interesting. And by interesting I mean stressful. I do like my new boss though and I think I will get along well with her and even though it is a lot of work I think I can do really well at it.

Exhaustion is creeping in though. The Online Predator (and really,I need to find a better alias for him) will be back this week, so that is good. Hopefully we can have a couple of early nights so I don't stay up past my bedtime.

I saw Quarantine on Sunday. Save your money folks. It is a cross between The Blair Witch Project and a cheesy carnival haunted house ride. So since the movie sucked, I bought myself two new pairs of shoes and then I felt better. Retail therapy is not as effective as I would like, but a momentary happiness is achieved. Plus the shoes are cute so I am gonna call it a win win.

Bad news for my brother G. He was laid off from his job. He has a very cool job of making neon signs - bending the glass, adding the neon, being crafty and arty. Unfortunately the evil compnay Yahoo pulled their account and layoffs were made. This really sucks for him because he has a degenerative spine condition and his former boss had been very willing to work around G's ability to work day to day. And his cat is due for vaccinations and has a little infection on his chin. I am going to send him a hundred bucks or so when I get paid this week, but that isn't alot of money. If I can figure out who and where his cats vet is I may try and prepay for the annual exam and any meds. I know what it is like to have a sick cat and no job, so I will help him as much as I can. And he knows I have dibs on a kidney if I ever need one...

G and I were never close growing up. It has really only been the last couple of years that we have talked about anything real - my family is generally not open to discussing anything other than the most banal subjects, and never discussing the flock of pink elephants in the room. It is such a pleasant surprise to be getting to know him, even if it has taken this long. I haven't actually seen him in over 10 years, but maybe soon we can arrange a visit. He is in California, and I would love to see the Pacific, so maybe when I accrue some vacation time I could fly out and see him. I don't think I will ever have a relationship with my sister or my other two brothers, and will likely never be on speaking terms with either of my parents. But I want to keep G a little closer.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


I am done.

I worked 70 hours last week, and will be matching it again this week - 5 ten hour days and 10 hours on Friday and Saturday. And I can't do it much longer.

I want to, because I need the money to move out and replace the MariaMobile. But I just don't know if I can.

Ovetime at the day job pays twice what the nights do. But the nights are very easy work, so I don't want to give it up. And the overtime doesn't seem to be drying up anytime soon either, so it makes sense to just work extra at the day job.

The Online Predator is vacationingin Puerto Rico for this week and next, which is kind of a relief because if he were here, I would probably push myself to spend time with him, and lose precious sleep.

I snapped at The Woo, who is the sweetest cat ever and seems to really miss me. He was winding around me, trying to mooch some people food and get some attention and I told him to scoot, and I NEVER talk to him in that tone of voice. I felt horrible. I got into a nasty argument with S., although I don't feel bad about that. I had told him very specifically what I needed at the store and yet he still managed to fuck it up because he doesn't listen, and I actually hate him at times.

All in all, I am desparate for sleep. I am not even going to finisdh watching Project Runway tonight because I need to go to bed NOW. And I really hope no one ruins the ending for me tomorrow.

I will post again this week, and will hopefully be in a better place, sleep quantity wise.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Twice! In one night!

That would be my Thursday night. I got pulled over. Twice. I was headed over to The Predators house, and I came to a 4 way and stopped. Luckily I also used my turn signal, because I got pulled over immediately.

My right front headlight was out. The cop was nice about it, but took my license back to his car to run the info, which made me very nervous. I have not been pulled over in ten years, and that was just for a registration ticket, so I don't have alot of experience with police pull overs. A month or so ago my debit card information was compromised, so during the looooooong wait to get my license back I went through at least a billion worries about my identity being switched with someone wanted for a felony. Luckily everything was fine and I was given a gentle warning. I continued on to The Predators house and stayed until 11:30 - on a work night which is maybe not so smart.

I got almost home and saw an oncoming car headed towards me. At the stop sign I saw that it was a police car and I just knew that the MariaMobiles missing light wasn't ging to go unnoticed. Sure enough, the cop car made a U Turn and pulled me over. This cop was a jerk. I told him I had gotten a warning a mere two hours ago and would be fixing the headlight in the morning. Jerk cop gave me a snotty lecture about how a warning didn't give me permission to drive in an unsafe vehicle. Yeah, I know. I also know it was almost midnight and Auto Zone wasn't open. I got off with a lecture.

Once home I spoke with S. and convinced him to go to WalMart (which I hate, but they were open) and buy a headlight for me. Which was very nice of him considering.

Things with The Predator are going very well in some ways and sort of strange in others. The Predator is divorced and apparently that is still in his mind because he is very wary of getting hurt. I am too - and I have more trust issues than I care to count - but right now I am just enjoying spending time with someone who tells me I am pretty and makes me laugh. And the naughty stuff is great too.

S. asked me if The Predator and I were "screwing around". I told him that that wasn't any of his business, and so he assumed that we are and told me that it makes him mad. This is a really strange position to be in - I still live with the ex, and we are being fairly civil to one another, but I am seeing a new man. Given that it was S. that nailed several of the final nails into our coffin, I guess I just don't see where he gets off having any concern over who I amy or may not be intimate with.

New job is going better than expected. I worked 50 hours there this week, and 20 at the night job on Fri and Sat night. I don't know how much longer I cna keep that up though - my guess is not long! I can live off of what I will make at the new job, and will do better with a little overtime, which is not a problem. Overtime at the new job is double what I make at the night job, so it makes sense to drop the nights, but then again, I don't really do much at night, so I am not willing to let it go yet. It does suck for me and The Online Predator though, because we don't have much time to see each other. Predator leaves today for a 2 week vacation in Puerto Rico (lucky sumbitch) and so maybe this two week break will give me needed time and space to figure out a routine at the jobs.

And in other exciting (at least to me) news, there is a new season of Charm School starting October 12th. For those unfamiliar with Charm School, it is a gawd awful reality show that featured the contestants from Flavor of Love and Monique as the Charm School Headmistress. Notable, there were commandments for Charm School such as "Thou shalt check thyself before thy wreck thyself". Yeah. It is THAT bad. And I will be watching every.single.minute of this particular trainwreck. I think this season the students will be those misguided bimbos from Rock of Love that are being educated in etiquette.