I am done.
I worked 70 hours last week, and will be matching it again this week - 5 ten hour days and 10 hours on Friday and Saturday. And I can't do it much longer.
I want to, because I need the money to move out and replace the MariaMobile. But I just don't know if I can.
Ovetime at the day job pays twice what the nights do. But the nights are very easy work, so I don't want to give it up. And the overtime doesn't seem to be drying up anytime soon either, so it makes sense to just work extra at the day job.
The Online Predator is vacationingin Puerto Rico for this week and next, which is kind of a relief because if he were here, I would probably push myself to spend time with him, and lose precious sleep.
I snapped at The Woo, who is the sweetest cat ever and seems to really miss me. He was winding around me, trying to mooch some people food and get some attention and I told him to scoot, and I NEVER talk to him in that tone of voice. I felt horrible. I got into a nasty argument with S., although I don't feel bad about that. I had told him very specifically what I needed at the store and yet he still managed to fuck it up because he doesn't listen, and I actually hate him at times.
All in all, I am desparate for sleep. I am not even going to finisdh watching Project Runway tonight because I need to go to bed NOW. And I really hope no one ruins the ending for me tomorrow.
I will post again this week, and will hopefully be in a better place, sleep quantity wise.
Showing posts with label Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stuff. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Current thoughts in no particular order
Welcome to Texas, where even with the A/C cranking it is stll 85 freaking degrees inside.
I continue to fight with S. The heat is not helping. He insists on making things like spaghetti in the middle of the afternoon. With the temperature already over 80 inside, what would be a clever thing to do? Turn the stove on and boil pasta. Second top answer is using the dryer. Bonus points for doing both at the same time.
S. is SMRT.
I know it is wrong, but because he has pissed me off, I have thrown out his favorite boxers and another pair of shorts. This is small and petty, and I justify that it is just clothing, and nothing important, like his birth certificate. I really and truly do not play well with others. I may also be checking his email and myspace page. Don't hate. I know it is borderline creepy. And by borderline I mean sort of a lot. I don't really care so much about what he is doing, but I am really bored.
I am feeling ok today about my bank balance. Not gonna say how much, but I have been really prudent lately, and it is higher than it has been for a while. Still waiting to get a real job to watch the numbers climb and feel safer.
The Woo - seems to be getting better. The diarrhea seems to have stopped, since he is on a probiotic. The vet insisted that the powder was tasty, and I wouldn't have to mix it in his food to get him to eat it. Well, I ended up having to stir it into the stinky wet food. Not because he won't eat it, but because that is all he wants to eat. Stinker. But I love him so, and I will mix it in.
I don't want to be a crazy cat lady. Really I don't. But lately this cat has been really helping me keep it together. Whenever he wakes up and does not know where I am, he will cry until I call out to him, then he will come running up to me, so I can scoop him up and cuddle him. The other two cats just don't give me that much attention unless their bowl is empty. Camille is 15 and grumpy, so I don't expect much from her, and Biki is a halfwit at best. But The Woo is all about following me around and being a love. And somedays I need the unconditional love, no matter that it comes from a cat.
I have done another couple rounds of binge and purge. Not so bad on the bingeing, really just meal sized amounts, but the purging is starting to concern me. I searched online and learned that rinsing with baking soda can help reduce the acid, but I think baking soda would make me gag, so the benefit may be eliminated...
Is anyone else watching "The Secret Lives of Women" on the chick channel? I am. There are some truly strange people out there. In comparison, I am only odd, not strange. I did learn a new term though from the show. HeteroFlexible. Which I gathered as being pretty much the same as bi-sexual, but feeling the need to try and call it something else. The whole thing struck me as funny, and pretty similar to "Suede" on Project Runway calling himself "Suede" and speaking in the third person.
I watch a lot of strange TV. I work at nights, and there is a TV, and little work to do. Sadly it is just basic cable, and I would love it if people would be so kind as to wait for commercial breaks to call in with their petty problems. Kthx. A couple of weeks ago, there was a rerun of one of those pseudo documentaries on child pageants. I am going to hell for this (and other reasons, to be sure) but in the middle of this show about children in swimsuit competitions, there was an ad for Pos-T-Vac which is a penis suction pump. Are the programmers on this channel as warped as I am, or does nobody check for these issues?
I think pageants are basically kiddie porn, and the mothers seem clearly unfulfilled in their lives and live vicariously through their poor kids. But the names do make me laugh. Instead of just 1st, 2nd, or third place, they use Miss Supreme Grand Pretty Princess and other ridiculous titles, and the crowns are literally 18-24 inches tall, if not taller, and sort of ugly. And ohmygod the level of hostility between the mothers of the contestants! It is brain killingly bad entertainment, but at 3 am, the choices are limited.
I also learned that one of the chick channels has a QVC type show late at night, selling various erotic devices. I was channel surfing throught the other infomercials and heard the phrase "clitoral stimulation". I was sure that I hadn't heard that right, since it is only basic cable, but there it was - two genteel 30 ish women in a softly lit, lavendar backdropped set, discussing the merits of their high priced(?) vibrators. I went back to the channel surfing, but I am going to try and watch it again and see if they have any chatty callers phoning in to speak to the hosts and tell them how pleased they were with their product and how wonderful the color selection and quality are. Does anyone else remember the episode of Mamas Family where Mama gets addicted to the Home Shooping Network?
Luckily, I can also bring my DVD player in, and sometimes watch movies that way. I adore the little RedBox kiosks for DVD's. A buck a night is a pretty sweet deal. Plus, if you go online, you get a freebie, and I am all about the cheap and the free. Which may lead to some google hits for my blog...
I signed up for e-harmony, but I am not persuing it right now. I may see if I can pause my account. I was really curious to see if I would pass their screening process. There is an commercial for another matching service that says eHarmony turns down a lot of people because of their 29 dimensions. Considering I have a history of Major Depressive Disorder and a few other issues, I was surprised that I was let through. I am not entirely sure that my personality profile is quite accurate though. That isn't entirely based on poor self esteem though. I didn't think the questionnaire dug that deep, and also, I think everyone sort of polishes their selves a little on these things, like a resume.
I am not really looking for anyone right now though. I am still living with S, although we have had separate bedrooms for over a year, I think I am going to need some alone and single time. Plus I totally feel fat and ugly right now, so probably not a good starting place for a relationship, no?
A coworker gave me a Starbucks gift card. I have been vegetarian on and off for 16 years, and leaning to wards vegan now, but I have a hunch that this gift card is going to to towards a couple of vanilla cupcakes. Their chocolate ones look great, but taste gross, and not chocolatey. Usually I am not much of a vanilla fan, but these cupcakes rock. Plus they keep them in the freezer, and I love frozen cake. If you truly want to hurt your body, try freezing double stuff Oreos. Yum. I haven't actually had Oreos in over a year, because they are just plain bad for me, but every once in a while I think back on the frozen ones. I used to know some serious potheads, who introduced me to things like that, which I called Stoner Gourmet. Another tasty snack I picked up back in the day? Pringles with Muenster cheese. Good times - 10 years ago when I was young, and carefree and had a contact high.
And that wraps up this installment of Marias World. Thank you for visiting and please wait until the ride comes to a complete stop before exiting.
I continue to fight with S. The heat is not helping. He insists on making things like spaghetti in the middle of the afternoon. With the temperature already over 80 inside, what would be a clever thing to do? Turn the stove on and boil pasta. Second top answer is using the dryer. Bonus points for doing both at the same time.
S. is SMRT.
I know it is wrong, but because he has pissed me off, I have thrown out his favorite boxers and another pair of shorts. This is small and petty, and I justify that it is just clothing, and nothing important, like his birth certificate. I really and truly do not play well with others. I may also be checking his email and myspace page. Don't hate. I know it is borderline creepy. And by borderline I mean sort of a lot. I don't really care so much about what he is doing, but I am really bored.
I am feeling ok today about my bank balance. Not gonna say how much, but I have been really prudent lately, and it is higher than it has been for a while. Still waiting to get a real job to watch the numbers climb and feel safer.
The Woo - seems to be getting better. The diarrhea seems to have stopped, since he is on a probiotic. The vet insisted that the powder was tasty, and I wouldn't have to mix it in his food to get him to eat it. Well, I ended up having to stir it into the stinky wet food. Not because he won't eat it, but because that is all he wants to eat. Stinker. But I love him so, and I will mix it in.
I don't want to be a crazy cat lady. Really I don't. But lately this cat has been really helping me keep it together. Whenever he wakes up and does not know where I am, he will cry until I call out to him, then he will come running up to me, so I can scoop him up and cuddle him. The other two cats just don't give me that much attention unless their bowl is empty. Camille is 15 and grumpy, so I don't expect much from her, and Biki is a halfwit at best. But The Woo is all about following me around and being a love. And somedays I need the unconditional love, no matter that it comes from a cat.
I have done another couple rounds of binge and purge. Not so bad on the bingeing, really just meal sized amounts, but the purging is starting to concern me. I searched online and learned that rinsing with baking soda can help reduce the acid, but I think baking soda would make me gag, so the benefit may be eliminated...
Is anyone else watching "The Secret Lives of Women" on the chick channel? I am. There are some truly strange people out there. In comparison, I am only odd, not strange. I did learn a new term though from the show. HeteroFlexible. Which I gathered as being pretty much the same as bi-sexual, but feeling the need to try and call it something else. The whole thing struck me as funny, and pretty similar to "Suede" on Project Runway calling himself "Suede" and speaking in the third person.
I watch a lot of strange TV. I work at nights, and there is a TV, and little work to do. Sadly it is just basic cable, and I would love it if people would be so kind as to wait for commercial breaks to call in with their petty problems. Kthx. A couple of weeks ago, there was a rerun of one of those pseudo documentaries on child pageants. I am going to hell for this (and other reasons, to be sure) but in the middle of this show about children in swimsuit competitions, there was an ad for Pos-T-Vac which is a penis suction pump. Are the programmers on this channel as warped as I am, or does nobody check for these issues?
I think pageants are basically kiddie porn, and the mothers seem clearly unfulfilled in their lives and live vicariously through their poor kids. But the names do make me laugh. Instead of just 1st, 2nd, or third place, they use Miss Supreme Grand Pretty Princess and other ridiculous titles, and the crowns are literally 18-24 inches tall, if not taller, and sort of ugly. And ohmygod the level of hostility between the mothers of the contestants! It is brain killingly bad entertainment, but at 3 am, the choices are limited.
I also learned that one of the chick channels has a QVC type show late at night, selling various erotic devices. I was channel surfing throught the other infomercials and heard the phrase "clitoral stimulation". I was sure that I hadn't heard that right, since it is only basic cable, but there it was - two genteel 30 ish women in a softly lit, lavendar backdropped set, discussing the merits of their high priced(?) vibrators. I went back to the channel surfing, but I am going to try and watch it again and see if they have any chatty callers phoning in to speak to the hosts and tell them how pleased they were with their product and how wonderful the color selection and quality are. Does anyone else remember the episode of Mamas Family where Mama gets addicted to the Home Shooping Network?
Luckily, I can also bring my DVD player in, and sometimes watch movies that way. I adore the little RedBox kiosks for DVD's. A buck a night is a pretty sweet deal. Plus, if you go online, you get a freebie, and I am all about the cheap and the free. Which may lead to some google hits for my blog...
I signed up for e-harmony, but I am not persuing it right now. I may see if I can pause my account. I was really curious to see if I would pass their screening process. There is an commercial for another matching service that says eHarmony turns down a lot of people because of their 29 dimensions. Considering I have a history of Major Depressive Disorder and a few other issues, I was surprised that I was let through. I am not entirely sure that my personality profile is quite accurate though. That isn't entirely based on poor self esteem though. I didn't think the questionnaire dug that deep, and also, I think everyone sort of polishes their selves a little on these things, like a resume.
I am not really looking for anyone right now though. I am still living with S, although we have had separate bedrooms for over a year, I think I am going to need some alone and single time. Plus I totally feel fat and ugly right now, so probably not a good starting place for a relationship, no?
A coworker gave me a Starbucks gift card. I have been vegetarian on and off for 16 years, and leaning to wards vegan now, but I have a hunch that this gift card is going to to towards a couple of vanilla cupcakes. Their chocolate ones look great, but taste gross, and not chocolatey. Usually I am not much of a vanilla fan, but these cupcakes rock. Plus they keep them in the freezer, and I love frozen cake. If you truly want to hurt your body, try freezing double stuff Oreos. Yum. I haven't actually had Oreos in over a year, because they are just plain bad for me, but every once in a while I think back on the frozen ones. I used to know some serious potheads, who introduced me to things like that, which I called Stoner Gourmet. Another tasty snack I picked up back in the day? Pringles with Muenster cheese. Good times - 10 years ago when I was young, and carefree and had a contact high.
And that wraps up this installment of Marias World. Thank you for visiting and please wait until the ride comes to a complete stop before exiting.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Tuesday Night ramblings
I started the new job yesterday - 3 hours of very boring training. I will feel much better when I am actually on my own. I honestly don't know how this job will work out. I have done this type of work before but in a much more modern office. I am worried that I will pick up some really bad and unprofessional habits here. But as long as I get paid I am keeping my mouth shut. I had today off, as the manager chick was not there today. Once I ma settled into this job, I am going to look for another part time-ish job to boost up my savings and move out into my own place.
A new apartment will be the first place I have lived without Iggie in over half my life. I still tear up thinking about him and miss him. I was listening to music earlier, and "Old Shep" by Elvis came on. I had to fast forward to the next song. If you don't know it, check on youtube, but not if you are feeling sad. Trust me. I first became aware of this song while watching Family Ties. Michael Keatons older brother was coming for a visit and he was telling the family about how his older brother used to make him listen to the song and it would make him cry. Alex snarked at him about letting a simple song control his emotions. Later on, the older brother plays it, and Michael is cool, but Alex, overhearing it, burts into tears and says "he shot the dog!!!!" I have truly strange memories!
I watched part of the Grammy awards while on the phone with my friend GEM. GEM has been asked by his favorite jewelry store to help design gay friendly jewelry. Apparently the owner got wind (10 years after the 'discovery') that gay people may have more disposable income since they may not have children, and are therefore an untapped source of revenue.
I remember this being a big deal in the 90's, but since so many people of all orientations are adopting I think the gay=extra money thing is no longer true, if it ever was. Anyway, we both found it funny that I knew the correct oder for "GLBT" and he knew who had won what at the MTV awards. Keep in mind that GEM is in his 50's and gay. I am in my 30's and straight. But we just work well together. He is also a fan of Tupac Shakurs poetry, which along with being gay and over 50, he is white, which probably messes with the predicted fan base data for that market! I love that about him.
I have known him for 8 years now, and it never seems like it has been that long. So now I am thinking about what to get him for our 10 year anniversary. GEM always sends me wonderful jewelry and I would reciprocate, but honestly, he already has loads of it, and in every color and precious metal combination I can think of. It is a very serious case of what do you get for the man who has everything.
I did really well today and yesterday in terms of cleaning and organizing. I am trying to go along with the Flylady program, but somedays I am better than others. I cleaned the office of a bag of trash - old papers and junk, did at least three loads of laundry, vaccumed, swept the kitchen, cleaned my bathroom, made my bed, and took out the trash. The idea is to do a little every day in a routine until it gets to be a habit. All of this organization and cleaning is very new to me. I love to have things organized but I tend to be so wrappedup in everything being perfect that I get overwhelmed. I am proud of me for doing so well, and I will keep it up tomorrow too!
S. is due back on Friday, but emailed that he is not very far from here, and has no planned load after he delivers this one, so he may be back sooner than later. This Valentines Day is gonna suck, yo. I hate being alone on couple-y holidays. Oh well. Someday my prince will come.
I don't know why I watch this show, it only serves to depress me, but I will admit I always catch The Girls Next Door. On behalf of all of Europe, and also now the Bahama Islands, I wish to apologize for the existence of Kendra. Not all Americans are like that so please don't hate us. Every freakin scene that showed her in the dreadlock hat made me nauseous. And then there was the screaming... And was it just me or was Holly's sister less than impressed with pretty much everything? They both have the same annoying little tee-hee giggle that are like fingernails on a chalkboard while listening to Paris Hiltons record...
I also watched last weeks Survivor premiere. I haven't watched that show for a couple of years, so I was not sure who some of the favorites were. I think if I were to be a contestant I would either be the first to go or last person left. Due to insomnia, I would probably be better at The Amazing Race, which I have never watched a whole seaon of. But if I don't take my medication, I can be up for several days at a time. Not always pleasant, mind you, but alert and able to keep moving towards the next destination.
Thats all for now. Time to head for bed and another day of training tomorrow.
A new apartment will be the first place I have lived without Iggie in over half my life. I still tear up thinking about him and miss him. I was listening to music earlier, and "Old Shep" by Elvis came on. I had to fast forward to the next song. If you don't know it, check on youtube, but not if you are feeling sad. Trust me. I first became aware of this song while watching Family Ties. Michael Keatons older brother was coming for a visit and he was telling the family about how his older brother used to make him listen to the song and it would make him cry. Alex snarked at him about letting a simple song control his emotions. Later on, the older brother plays it, and Michael is cool, but Alex, overhearing it, burts into tears and says "he shot the dog!!!!" I have truly strange memories!
I watched part of the Grammy awards while on the phone with my friend GEM. GEM has been asked by his favorite jewelry store to help design gay friendly jewelry. Apparently the owner got wind (10 years after the 'discovery') that gay people may have more disposable income since they may not have children, and are therefore an untapped source of revenue.
I remember this being a big deal in the 90's, but since so many people of all orientations are adopting I think the gay=extra money thing is no longer true, if it ever was. Anyway, we both found it funny that I knew the correct oder for "GLBT" and he knew who had won what at the MTV awards. Keep in mind that GEM is in his 50's and gay. I am in my 30's and straight. But we just work well together. He is also a fan of Tupac Shakurs poetry, which along with being gay and over 50, he is white, which probably messes with the predicted fan base data for that market! I love that about him.
I have known him for 8 years now, and it never seems like it has been that long. So now I am thinking about what to get him for our 10 year anniversary. GEM always sends me wonderful jewelry and I would reciprocate, but honestly, he already has loads of it, and in every color and precious metal combination I can think of. It is a very serious case of what do you get for the man who has everything.
I did really well today and yesterday in terms of cleaning and organizing. I am trying to go along with the Flylady program, but somedays I am better than others. I cleaned the office of a bag of trash - old papers and junk, did at least three loads of laundry, vaccumed, swept the kitchen, cleaned my bathroom, made my bed, and took out the trash. The idea is to do a little every day in a routine until it gets to be a habit. All of this organization and cleaning is very new to me. I love to have things organized but I tend to be so wrappedup in everything being perfect that I get overwhelmed. I am proud of me for doing so well, and I will keep it up tomorrow too!
S. is due back on Friday, but emailed that he is not very far from here, and has no planned load after he delivers this one, so he may be back sooner than later. This Valentines Day is gonna suck, yo. I hate being alone on couple-y holidays. Oh well. Someday my prince will come.
I don't know why I watch this show, it only serves to depress me, but I will admit I always catch The Girls Next Door. On behalf of all of Europe, and also now the Bahama Islands, I wish to apologize for the existence of Kendra. Not all Americans are like that so please don't hate us. Every freakin scene that showed her in the dreadlock hat made me nauseous. And then there was the screaming... And was it just me or was Holly's sister less than impressed with pretty much everything? They both have the same annoying little tee-hee giggle that are like fingernails on a chalkboard while listening to Paris Hiltons record...
I also watched last weeks Survivor premiere. I haven't watched that show for a couple of years, so I was not sure who some of the favorites were. I think if I were to be a contestant I would either be the first to go or last person left. Due to insomnia, I would probably be better at The Amazing Race, which I have never watched a whole seaon of. But if I don't take my medication, I can be up for several days at a time. Not always pleasant, mind you, but alert and able to keep moving towards the next destination.
Thats all for now. Time to head for bed and another day of training tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)