Iggie on the left, Camille on the right
Thursday is going down as the second most horrible day of my life. I had to make the decision and sign permission for the vet to euthanize Camille. When I got to the vets office after work Thursday she was halfway gone already; I'd like to think that she hung on long enough to let me say goodbye and tell her I love her for the last time.
I have worked for a veterinarian before. I have assisted in the euthanasia of animals before, but to do this to my own baby was miserable. When Iggie died in January, he died at home, on his own, and I know he would have preferred it that way. It was slow and agonizing, but I am glad I was with him for it. With Camille, I know she was hurting and very cold - her body temp was only 95-ish, and cats should be at 101-102. So I am glad she didn't have to suffer anymore, but it still felt wrong to make the decision to end her life for her and have to sign the permission form.
Everyone has told me that at least she is not in pain anymore, but I am. And that is not going to get better for a long time. I know most people who see this will only see a picture of two black cats. But those who know me will know that this is a family portrait for me, because these two sweet creatures WERE my sole family for so long.